Maniac

And here I am again. I have nothing. Why? Why did ignore the advice? My selfishness and ignorance has cost me everything. Past me has screwed present and future me. I can go no where because I have no money. I have no money because I barely have a job, and the person who was supporting me will soon be my ex.

I am so lonely. And honestly, I don’t care about your night out on the town. So please, shut up.

My mind will not stop. From the moment I wake up until night’s deep sleep. I am constantly thinking about how I will get home. How I will get all my things home. How I will get his pet home. When will I get to go home? What do I do first when I get there? Am I going to be able to afford all the things I need to be on my own? Am I going to be okay when I get there?
I’m trying to slow my mind down. To stop thinking for just a minute. But I can’t. Not until I have resolution and a clear, concrete plan.

I want to get lost in someone again. The way I did with him. The rest of the world slows significantly. Your vision is focused on him, blurring on the edges. And you’re wondering the whole time what he’s thinking, even though you can’t stop talking. Saying things you most definitely shouldn’t be saying to a near stranger. But of course, he is no stranger. You met mere minutes ago, and yet, perhaps, a lifetime ago.

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